How wrong. 

Tired. Do you ever get tired of being yourself? Yeah, I know… How does someone get tired of being themselves. Well, first of all you should be happy you’re yourself… know how many people struggle to be themselves… others who don’t even know themselves in the first place. So, let’s not deviate from the main story… I’ll ask again ” Do you ever get tired of being yourself ?? “. 

So out there you’re silent, not the one to go starting stories making everyone laugh and with no time everyone likes you. Not the one to respond and engage in every strangers conversation, some and most are just brushed of with a smile. 

You have a lot to say… but you listen, to everyone and silently respond within yourself without talking …silently. You will smile to agree, to disagree, to affirm, out of shock, to laugh, to total nonsense, to intelligence, to humour….etc. But that’s not who you are. You’re not an ignorant person.

 In your mind, you respond to each of it, you hear and see every bit of what’s happening. The problem is, you have locked up your own voice. You feel like it’s a waste of energy to have a chit chat with everyone and anyone you come across. The kind not to talk a lot because it’s just not your thing. But in your mind?? In your head?? In your brain?? What’s going on?? 

You’re tired of being yourself, because you’ve seen a lot, you’ve heard enough. Don’t you hate it that you’re too observant, too attentive you notice almost everything but it won’t leave your mouth. Sometimes you could do something or say something but because you avoid a lot with your shut mouth people might suffer just because you feel like you were not born to talk too much.So How wrong  is this??  Things have happened things which you feel like you could have said something but you’re there taking care not to talk too much. But you said it right? You solved it so well in your mind, but actualizing it did not happen.  You want to yell ” I told you so!!!” But you don’t get the honours and pride to do that. Why? It was all in your own world. Do you realise this could be wrong?? But How wrong ?? Is it wrong enough for you to speak up?? Not yet? Yeah I thought so too. 

So sit back, watch people (forgive my language) do foolish and dumb stuff, fall into stupid traps, be treated as trash … Why? Because “can’t they see?? I’m I supposed to see for them?? Can’t they speak?? How could they accept that?? That’s a very dumb act….” that’s all going on in your little head. But maybe you’re wrong. How  wrong ?? Of course you don’t see it. For once you don’t see see something right?? I thought you notice everything… 

Maybe enlightenment is what they need. From who? “Pleaaase not me.” Scared you in your little head. Likely to brush that off with a smile too right??  Hah! Takes us back… Who wasn’t born not to talk much again??  
So is it right to see people suffer, to see people oppress others just because it doesn’t concern you. How wrong.  

How  wrong is it not to speak up for people. It feels like it’s non of your business and that you should mind your business. Deep down though, deep down you know it hurts to watch and know a lot and why a lot happens the way it does. But you want to keep your hands clean. “Don’t get into that mess” you keep warning yourself. 

So you’re there, practising in your head…you don’t talk too much so this talking calls for practice hah!  ” NO! It shouldn’t be that way because…argh” you cut yourself short..” it doesn’t concern me anyway, and no one hired me to speak for them so, stay clean stay safe just shut up!” Is that wrong? How wrong ? What did I do wrong? But I just resolved not to walk into trouble. 

Introverts, this is for you. We don’t get out to social places so often, because most of us have built their own comfortable worlds in their own space, but when we do, we notice almost everything, as well as avoid everything as much as we can. So, How  wrong . How wrong could we be?? Is it just okay to watch from a distance? Let people solve their own problems??  Why I’m I even writting this? Its not even my problem right?? 

 How wrong is it not to speak up, to just shut up. To know and do nothing about it. 

How wrong.

Can I ??

Can I say, Hey, you’re cute. Hey, you’re handsome. Hey I like your beards. I do like the way you talk. Can I say all that and not look like I’m trying to hit on you?? Because hey, I’m not hitting on you. I just appreciate beauty whenever I see it. That I like your height, no I’m not flirting. I mean just that. 

N when I talk to you first, I’m not trying to be noticed, no. I’m just trynna have a conversation. And it’s just that . Can I do that without you thinking I’m leading you on or something? Can I ?? 

If I let you have something of mine, I’m just being nice. Can I be nice? Can I be genuinely nice. Most obviously you’ll think it’s because I need something from you. No!!! Please can I just be nice and go?? 

So I’m just a happy person. Likely to smile a lot at people. Can I smile at you for no reason?? Can I?? Please let me smile. Don’t think I have chosen you to smile at. Don’t think there’s anything behind the smile… I’m smiling because I’m just happy okay? 

Hey, you have something on your shirt. How did I notice?? No, I wasn’t staring. I have just happened to see it, n since I’m nice, can I tell you??